making tough choices

*flashback* HOW TO CHOOSE

July 15, 2026 • Issue No. 40

Good Afternoon Sparkle Gang!

This week we’re going eco and recycling a previous Sparkle Sheet. In fact, it’s the very first one ever. For many of you, this will be a first time read (when I sent this I think I only had 2 or 3 subscribers!).

As I was scrolling through some of our past issues, I remembered how much of an ‘aha’ I felt when I started using Toni Morrison’s words to help me find my own way at a crossroads. If you have any tricky decisions to make this season, I hope this can help you, too. ☀️

This summer, I’ll be re-strategizing about what’s next for The Sparkle Sheet. If you have any ideas about what you’d like to see, what parts you want to stay the same, and what aspects have never ~vibed~ for you, I hope you’ll chime in. Just send me an email! 💕

And without further ado…

THE TONI MORRISON QUOTE I’VE ADOPTED AS MY NORTH STAR

December 30, 2024 • Issue No. 1

Am I the only one who has imaginary best friends they go to for wisdom?

When I need a snappy one-liner about work ethic to use as a mantra on a hard day, it’s Beyonce.

When I need a reminder that I’m self-made, it’s Cardi B.

When I want to walk into a room with poise and palatability, it’s Michelle Obama.

And when I need someone to say THE THING, poetically and concisely, it’s the one and only Toni Morrison.

This quote found its way to me at the right time - a moment when I felt like I was at a crossroads. I was deciding between two professional opportunities; one was riskier than the other and I was tempted to play it safe. I worried that if I tried and failed, I would lose the esteem of others and people would begin to see me as a person who “talks a good game but can’t really back it up.” I also knew that the safer choice was not completely risk-free, and there was the risk of failure there as well. If I played it small and failed anyway I would beat myself up over it later. I was paralyzed by the two choices and if I took any longer to decide both options would be unavailable. And then came Toni.

It felt like she was whispering in my ear when I read this quote. …being your own story means you can always change the tone… I would have to find peace no matter what I chose, peace in success and peace in failure. Peace in jumping three stairs at a time, and peace in holding on to the stair rail and taking it slow. While I couldn’t control the outcome of my choices (no one can), I had total control over the tone. I was the one who’d decide if I was writing a tragedy, a comedy, a novella, a heroine’s tale or even some combination. I would be the one who’d look back at the choice and feel like I’d made a life-altering mistake or feel proud of myself just for trying.

In the moments when I’m stuck between two choices or feeling uncomfortably crushed by external expectations, I like to imagine Toni (simultaneously warm and no-nonsense) asking me 3 questions:

1. What kind of story are you telling/living/being?

2. Which choice best fits your vision for the story, short-term and long-term?

3. Can you press undo on this choice if you don’t like it?

Sometimes I write the answers in a journal, talk them out with a friend or coach, or just hold them in my heart as a meditate. Being reminded of my own power to craft my narrative, build my dream, and change my mind is usually enough to remember that I’m in charge. I’m the author, I’m the audience, I’m the critic and this story is just getting good.

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