No. 17 - CANCEL(LATION) CULTURE

CANCEL(LATION) CULTURE

August 6, 2025 • Issue No. 17

Sparkle Gang, I have only anecdotal evidence but I’m starting to believe that we’re in the middle of a shift. This shift pinched me three times in the last two weeks!

I was pouring a cup of coffee and heading to my desk, when I got the email: Can we reschedule?

I was standing in the closet choosing an outfit, when I got the text: Can we do next week? 

I was on the train rushing home for a meeting, when I got the voice memo: Need to cancel!

This can only mean that…

A) My clients and connections have suddenly decided they all hate me!

B) Cancellations, reschedules and postponements are on the rise.

C) We’re in a weird moment astrologically

D) All of the above

Okay, I’m being a little silly. We can rule out the first choice since it’s just negative self-talk. Besides my own experiences, I don’t have the data to prove an uptick, and even if the stars are misaligned we still have schedules to keep and projects to finish. Whether the frequency of cancellations is up, down, or exactly the same, let’s talk practical solutions.

What To Do…

First, let’s acknowledge that all cancellations are not the same. Sometimes your roof falls in, or you don’t have childcare, or you’re feeling sick after lunch — we’re not talking about that. When I eventually caught up with all my cancellers, they explained that the issue had been preparation; or, more specifically, a lack of preparation. I’ll admit that in the times I’ve cancelled (and in the times that I’ve been grateful to be cancelled on), it was because I had mismanaged my priorities, hadn’t accounted for pre-work, or let a looming deadline paralyze my mind and my calendar. Personally, it was much easier to bargain for more time than to show up empty-handed. So, here are some non-judgemental tips for both sides of preparation-related cancellations because we’ve all been there: the canceller and the canceled.

…If You’re The “Canceller”

If you often find yourself cancelling when you feel unprepared, try these:

1. Calendar your meetings and your prep times. If you’re adding a status update meeting to your Thursday schedule, add a status update prep block to Monday or Tuesday. If you like to live life on the edge, schedule it for Wednesday.

2. Plan one week in advance. Find a day in your weekly rhythm that lends itself to looking ahead. Start by listing all the things you need to do and places you need to be, then layer in the things you need to accomplish beforehand. If I plan to enjoy fruit salad and seltzers on Beach Day, I probably need to run to the grocery store the day before. Likewise, if I’m going to a birthday dinner, I need to set aside time to find and write a card for my birthday friend. This logic applies for work as well — build in time for errands, supplies, and pre-requisites.

3. Show up with honesty. Often, we assume that showing up unprepared will be a waste of other people’s time. In actuality, asking them to postpone, cancel, or reschedule might present a bigger hassle. Depending on the setting and expectations, see if you can reshape the event into a working meeting. This might help you and your team to stay on schedule rather than potentially shifting deadlines and deliverables. If you’re not ready for an hour-long meeting, check in for 15-minutes to share your revised timeline and plan going forward. Perfect and delayed is not always better than in progress and on time.

    

…If You’re The “Cancelled”

If you often find yourself being cancelled on, try these:

1. Delineate everyone’s next steps. Your team member(s) may need help turning meeting notes into concrete tasks, which might be creating an impulse to cram and then cancel. If you have the authority or social trust, end each meeting by going over everyone’s to-dos before the next meeting. Even better, having everyone share their next steps in their own words is a great way to check for alignment. People are more likely to deliver if they know the expectations. “Email survey links to team leads” is a lot more concrete than “get feedback”.

2. Nudge in advance. There are a few people on my calendar who I email or text a few days before we’re scheduled to meet. This functions as a reminder and a little nudge in case our collaboration has fallen off their radar. This short message can include a reminder of what you’re expecting when you see them, and if you send it at the right time it might help bump the project up on their to-do list. Here’s an example I sent to a coaching client about 3 days before our scheduled session: “Looking forward to seeing you on Thursday! Will be ready to hear the list of colleagues you’d like me to interview for your 360.”

3. Decline with kindness. This tip is role dependent, but I’m including it for all the supervisors (and supervisors to be). During my time as a manager, I had a general sense of when people were dodging me. The cancellations and reschedules were creating a hassle for me and delaying my communications to my supervisor. While I appreciated that people wanted me to be impressed by their work, I needed them to prioritize communication over perfection. (I clenched my teeth with anxiety when I was pressing send, but) I started responding to reschedule requests with a soft no. “I understand you’d like to hold off on meeting until your reports are finished, but I’d like to check-in to see where you are in the process even if it’s brief.” Eventually, my team realized that cancelling wouldn’t get them off the hook. This meant it was easier to prepare for the meetings in advance or just ‘fess up to what created the delay. When they were willing to be open, we could work through solutions together and I could give my supervisor an accurate status update.

You’ve probably heard the saying that “perfect is the enemy of the good” but in this case it’s also the enemy of being present, the enemy of literally showing up. No matter where you are in the cancellation equation, preparedness will help bring balance. 💎 

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