No. 18 - SHARE YOUR WINS 🎾

SHARE YOUR WINS 🎾 

August 20, 2025 • Issue No. 18

For the first time in my 10+ years living in NYC, I attended the US Open. I bought my outfit three years ago, a white and green polo shirt with a matching pleated skirt, with the hope that one day I’d get to sit in the stands at the Arthur Ashe or Louis Armstrong stadium. That day finally came! 🎉

Since it was my first time at a tennis match, everything felt so new: the hush of the fans during plays, the scorekeeping, trying to figure out which player was which since they don’t wear jerseys with names or numbers. Rosa and I had arrived just in time to watch Mixed Doubles. Once we figured out who was who, we started rooting for Taylor Townsend and Ben Shelton. Every time the pair scored a point, we clapped and they congratulated each other with a handshake or a head nod.

I Got Some Really Great News…

This week, I had a career-shifting encounter. Someone I’ve long admired told me I’ve been on their radar (for over a year!) and he passionately explained his belief that the work I’m doing is impactful. The precision of his compliments and affirmations made me feel like he really sees my vision and could potentially champion my work. I wish I had been able to record the conversation because he said more nice things than I could absorb, I was so shocked I was certain my jaw was on the floor. I texted the group chat immediately after the encounter in all-caps:

…And Some Really Bad News…

One day later — no exaggeration — I got an email I’d been waiting on. Back in June, I put together a pitch I couldn’t be more proud of. I expected to have the go ahead within two weeks, but it got pushed back (to July), and back (to early-August) and back again (to mid-August). I told myself that if I could just be patient, I would be rewarded with the answer I wanted. But when the email came, my pitch had been declined. I was shocked and deflated. I drafted a text to group chat:

…I Almost Crashed Out…

I wanted sympathy. I wanted to hear that the world is unfair and that the people who rejected me were wrong. But I deleted the text message because I imagined my friends’ response:

…But I Stopped To Reorient…

I closed the email and put the phone down. This was a bummer, but it was not the end of the world. It was impossible to buy into the narrative that everything was terrible when the previous day was such a highlight.

By sharing my win when I had one, it forced me to acknowledge the upbeat along with the downs. It would be dishonest to jump clean over my “greatest day” and straight into “woe is me” — and it would be inaccurate. My friends would hold me accountable to tell the full story, that things weren’t actually all bad, and they would’ve been right to do so. It’s okay to want comfort, but it’s not productive to use one moment as proof that you’re not making progress.

…Around My Wins

Sharing your wins with a friend, a colleague, an executive coach, your family, or whoever you’d run to when things don’t go your way can be helpful down the line when you’re certain the universe is conspiring against you. It will equip whomever you’ve dubbed as your listening ear to interrupt the downturned pattern your brain is trying to create. Plus, the act of sharing a win helps cement it in your mind as real and magnificent. It gives the high note room to breathe and, like it did in my case, helps you pause and refute your own catastrophizing.

I’m still tending to the rejection and feeling sensitive about pouring myself into another pitch anytime this week, but this doesn’t mean I’m out for the count. It’s one moment in my life, just two consecutive days, and there’s no telling what news the rest of the week might bring.

Though Townsend and Shelton lost the match that would’ve advanced them into the semi-finals, it was strong competition and not poor play that cost them the game. When they reflect on their performance, I’m sure they’ll remember the missed opportunities — times they wished they’d run a little faster, swung a little harder, reached a little further — but I hope they remember the celebratory handshakes and head nods that marked their wins.

👩🏽‍🏫 To anyone who’s going back to work this week and gearing up for the new school year (that’s our SparkleTeachers on the list): you know that when things get rough, they get real rough. Before the first day of school rolls around, develop a way to track your wins so you’ll have a source of inertia on the days when your energy is zapped.

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