TRY IT ON 👗

TRY IT ON 👗

May 20, 2026 • Issue No. 37

“I feel like I want to blow my life up. Just start over - new friends, new job, new city.”

This is what I heard from a longtime friend (who reaps the relational benefit of complimentary executive coaching) when we were on the phone last week. Her proclamation took me by surprise. The same friend, who we’ll call Madison, had completed a round of interviews for a possible promotion in her current role at a utility company. She’d also upgraded to a larger apartment last year (I vividly remember trying and failing to install a bathroom organizer when I visited to help her settle in). And every time we talk, she’s telling me about another social event she’s attending: a costume party, a boozy spelling bee, or an informal Cinco de Mayo gathering.

I wondered if she really meant what she’d said about starting over. 

“Where do you want to go?” I asked. 

“Texas.”

“Why?”

“There’s a lot of opportunities in utilities there. If I want to grow in my industry that’s probably where I need to be. And I’d have family nearby.” 

These are all solid, logical reasons for moving. So I kept going. 

“Would you make more money?” 

“Maybe. I haven’t started to really look at openings yet. …I thought you were just going to tell me not to blow my life up!” 

“If that’s what you wanted to hear, then you called the wrong person. If you really want to blow up your life, I say do it. So what are you waiting for?”

“I’m just not really sure yet.” 

“What would you need to feel sure?” 

“I’d just need to know if it was the right choice. Like what’s the salary, how far does that go there? Like how would it all work…” 

“Well, the only way to know is to go get the information.” 

And this is where we were able to get into the nitty gritty. It’s hard to make thoughtful decisions without data. So we started thinking about a list of questions. 

• How hard (or easy) is it to get a job in utilities in Texas?

• How long does the application process take? (How much time should she budget for the transition?)

• Is it common for utility companies to pay relocation fees when they hire out-of-state employees?

• How would her cost of living be different in Texas?

• What city or town in Texas has the kind of jobs she’s looking for? 

• Is there healthy competition between the utilities in the city that could allow for job movement and negotiation?

• What’s a ‘run of the mill’ price for a 1 bedroom apartment? 

• Is there a Trader Joe’s there? 

When you’re facing a potential change, it’s easy to fall into fantasy.

💭 When I get this new job and I’m making double my salary, I’m going to buy a boat and sail on the weekends.

💭 As soon as my partner asks me to move in, I’ll be able to save so much money that I can buy those pumps I’ve been eyeing and take a few more trips.

The fantasy can be so satisfying that we don’t take action to reach that distant future. After a while it can feel entirely unattainable, since you’ve gotten comfortable with it staying out of reach. You may think, if it was going to happen, it would’ve done so by now. And you give up before you’ve even tried. 

But —

Imagine if you used the fantasy to create the blueprint for building your dreams. By taking the dream and plotting it into steps, you’ll quickly figure out if you want the process or if you just want the product. If you’re energized by working out the details, you’re probably on track towards something you actually want. But if the idea of all that works feels like a waste of time or bores you, this dream may just be a fleeting interest.

The point is that you won’t know until you try it on.

Try that idea on like a costume, twirl in the light, and see it from a few different angles. 

Imagine you’re considering going to graduate school. If the idea of researching the best program for you, looking up faculty, visiting schools, studying for the GMAT/GRE, and writing an application essay gets your gears going, then move forward! On the other hand, if the only thing that excites you is buying new notebooks and donning a cap and gown in a celebratory photo shoot, it may not be time just yet.

Try on your dream — live in your fantasy — and see if you really like it there. 

“So…” 

“…so…?” 

“What are your next steps?” 

“I’ll just poke around on LinkedIn to see what’s open and what the application process is like.” 

She’s trying it on! While she’s looking at jobs, I’m looking at flights to see how much it would cost to visit regularly. It’s pricey (!!!), but it would pale in comparison to how happy I’d be to see her journey from ‘once upon a time’ to ‘happily ever after’. 

💎 Try on your dream — live in your fantasy — and see if you really like it there. 💎 

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