No. 19 - MIRROR, MIRROR đŸȘž

what to do when you can't find a mentor, sponsor, or anyone to guide you

đŸȘž MIRROR, MIRROR đŸȘž 

September 3, 2025 ‱ Issue No. 19

You’ve heard the specificity of the categories before: a mentor is someone who can give advice and guide your career, a sponsor is someone who can vouch for you in rooms you can’t yet access, a champion is someone who can bring you into a brand new role or org. Less specific: helpful advice on how to fill any of these three critical positions in your career-building cabinet.

Once, in grad school, I was assigned a mentor through a program that paired current students with Columbia alumni of color. I met my assignee for Ethiopian food in Morningside Heights and the both of us pretty quickly agreed that, even though we were both women of color, we were probably not a match due to our differing views on assimilation. (She was for, I was against, it’s a story for another time!)

While there are many people I can thank for shaping my career and giving in-the-moment advice, I’m not sure any of those people would consider me their mentee and it’s something I’ve always been curious about. So when this Fast Company article popped up in my newsfeed, I immediately thought #relatable.

Screenshot of a Fast Company article from September 2, 2025

As Alexis Redding & Dorie Clark explain in their article, a mirror mentor is a “peer who knows you well and can offer personal guidance and insight as you look for your next job”. But I’d argue that assembling a team of mirror mentors can be helpful even when you’re not plotting an upcoming org switch. Here are three frames for how mirror mentorship can make an impact.

“The Scene Partner”

In my first year at a new school, I had to teach an observation lesson. All of you who work in education know that lesson observations are high stakes. Your principal or supervisor comes in to watch you teach and then hand you a grade or meet with you for feedback. I planned an activity for students to review the geometry terms we’d learned (perpendicular, parallel, acute, obtuse, etc.) to make their own maps. I spent most of my prep time refining my teaching materials and making sure the students would be engaged. When the lesson was finished I felt super proud of myself, but I was promptly deflated when the feedback came via email: instead of engagement being listed as a strength, my observer suggested that I “watch my tone with students”. I stifled the urge to march over to her office and show her something about tone and instead emailed to request a meeting. Then, I reached out to my friend Kisha who was a teacher coach at another school. She offered to role play the meeting with me and we spent a Saturday morning at her apartment running through possible responses. By the time I met with the person who’d given me the feedback, I had a level-head and a strategic plan for navigating the conversation.

Other Use Cases for a Scene Partner: 

  • practicing a pitch or presentation

  • warming up your performance review 1:1

  • role playing a tough conversation or critical feedback to get the wording right

“The Editor”

Back when we were new college grads, my friend Ashley was already setting her sights upwards. She had been at her company for a year or two when she predicted that an ongoing restructuring might lead to an opportunity for promotion. Ashley is smart, qualified, and capable, but sitting down to work on her resume is not at the top of her priority list. (Honestly, who really likes working on their resume?!) As we’ve discussed in previous issues, one way to create buy-in for a project you’re dreading is to find collaborators. Ashley knew I loved words (and loved her) so she asked for my help. We met on Zoom to work on her resume using Google Docs. Since I was a peer and not a busy executive (like a mentor or sponsor might be) Ashley and I were able to really take our time together. Plus, reading her resume as a person in an entirely different industry helped me generate a lot of questions that gave Ashley a chance to practice explaining her work in plain-language like she might need to do for a client, a new hire, or in an interview.

Other Use Cases for an Editor: 

  • reviewing a report (if your editor is internal and/or the contents are not proprietary)

  • visiting the website for your business or side-hustle

  • helping you narrow down your latest professional headshots

“The Watchdog”

My business partner Michaela introduced me to the phrase “be easy to help” and it has stuck with me ever since. When other people know what your goals are, they’re better equipped to help you along the way. This has been true countless times in my life as a helper and a help-ee. When my friend Khalid who is an event producer and brand consultant told me he wanted to work at Apple, I immediately sent his resume to my friend Kelly who’s at Apple in LA. When a BIPOC writing residency application was circulating on social media, it made its way to my inbox twice — once from Hollis and once from Eunice. My friend La Erica pointed me toward a client, her cousin, when I first opened my executive coaching practice. When my teacher friends tell me that they’re looking to switch schools, I share the dates of upcoming job fairs. Two (or four! or six!) heads are better than one, so put your mirror mentors to work while they’re scrolling on Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok. You never know what they’ll find.

Other Use Cases for a Watchdog: 

  • sourcing an app/software for a problem you’re trying to solve

  • finding fellowships, speaking opportunities, and conferences

  • sharing an article related to your industry or goals

I haven’t had the pleasure of a long relationship with a traditional mentor (though I haven’t given up hope!) but I’m grateful to all the mirror mentors in my circle. It helps me feel like I’m not out here alone. Plus, studies show that fostering collaboration is the key to neutralizing imposter thoughts in the workplace. Forward this email to someone you’ve mirror mentored, someone who’s mirror mentored you (maybe without even knowing it), or someone you want to build a mirror mentorship with. And don’t forget to say thanks. Your network is a beautiful reflection of you!

For more from Redding & Clark, check out their Fast Company article or their 2023 piece in Harvard Business Review that explains the difference between a mirror mentor, a guiding light, and a window mentor.

talk to me

Write me an email, leave a comment, or save these for your journal

  • What’s been your experience with mirror mentorship?

  • What do you think you might be able to offer as a mirror mentor?

  • What’s something you’d like to work through with a mirror mentor?

Just like last season, I’ll remind you about the upcoming Autumnal Equinox in every issue.

  • đŸ§‘đŸŸâ€đŸŒŸ ☀ Let’s get goal farming JOYFULLY! I messed up the count last issue — you have more time! We’re 10 weeks in with 3 weeks to go!

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The Sparkle Sheet is a newsletter publication written and created by Anastazia Neely, founder of Executive Radiance. Executive Radiance, LLC provides coaching and leadership development remotely and in-person in New York City.